So I have decided to update.

There’s a lot on my mind right now, but I can’t figure it all out. And I don’t know what to write in this empty space to help.

So I guess this ain’t much of an update aye?

Thanks guys. (:

As usual, I have been procrastinating my work till the eleventh hour.

And as usual, my distractions eventually led my thoughts all over the tuckshop.

The same thing is bugging me again. What I once thought was ambiguous, eventually became clear.

Or so I thought, for I am once again, stuck.

It’s really quite simple actually. I think it’s all a matter of choice now.

At this very moment, I should be going to shower and prepare my hand luggage. 

But what made me decide to blog is the fact that I don’t feel anything.

No excitement, no fear, no apprehension, no enthusiasm. 

It’s like any other book-in day.

But it’s not.

Jaded? Confident? Unassuming? Complacent? I don’t know really. But after some serious thought, I realise that this 21 days is probably going to be the highlight of my NS/OCS/young adult life. 

…

Adult life.

Two of my best buddies just had their 21st birthday celebration last night. As I sat there listening to their thank-you speeches, images of our friendship flashed through my mind. 5 years doesn’t seem long. But in these 5 years, they watched and helped me grow into the person I am today, and I’ve witnessed how they’ve become the fine young men they are now. 

Friendship is defined as the emotions or conduct of friends; the sate of being friends; a state of mutual trust and support.

To sum it up: amazing.

We’ve all had lots of friends, be they mere acquaintances , good friends, close friends, best friends what not. I’m lucky to be able to count *squints* Wei and Drew as part of the very special group of people who have made a difference in my young life.

And I really hope that everyone who reads this will find / have found people as special as they are to me, to be part of their lives, because while there’s no such thing as a perfect life, the right people can help to just bring you that much closer to it. 

To Wei and Drew, all I want to say to you guys, I already did in your cards. But thank you for just being you, and have a great 21st. 

Cheers my brothers!

wow. My longest hiatus yet. 

Hello blog.

Hello world.

it’s Christmas. 

The holiday season is here, and I don’t know what that means for you, cos for me, it means only one thing. EMO!

I concur that if I were to type what I’m feeling right now, it would be similar to the posts that I penned the same time last year. So I shall stop here.

10 years ain’t that long.

Or is it?

POP Loh!

Barely 48 hours ago, we were all still recruits of the SAF. Now, 48 hours later, I’m already missing BMT. 

(Wei can testify as to how irritating that can be. Heh.)

I think what makes me miss BMT is the fact that I know it’s probably going to be the most let-your-hair-down kind of fun anyone will every experience during their NS. Real NS starts after your posting, in my honest opinion.

My friend Jason’s MSN personal message:

Platoon 2 Was Always Number 1.

Nice.

I have counted and realised I have 9 really close, tight, awesome friends.

(:

Time flies blah blah, the usual stuff people say when they feel time has passed so quickly and they start thinking about what’s going to happen once it’s all over.

Yep that’s all I have.

Hello you.

So. Today is my ‘last Sunday’ before another chapter of my life unfolds.

A couple of friends have msn-ed me, asking about how come still not in NS and stuff. A further few would say or comment along the lines of: “So, you must be out partying/having fun/enjoying your last days of freedom eh?”

My reply, of course, was “Haha, yeah.”

Perhaps the reality of the situation hasn’t fully hit me yet, or maybe I’m really, genuinely looking forward to this two-year schinding.

…

After brushing aside feelings of patriotism and the desire for a great sense of camaraderie with my company/platoon/section-mates-to-be, I realised that I would just be a boy/man of Singaporean citizenship, simply fulfilling a two-year mandatory service to the nation.

A few people question, and sometimes, are unable to fathom, my great excitement for NS. I tried to explain, but eventually find myself giving up, for the very simple reason that they are not me, and I, am not them.

I cannot make them make sense of the joy I have after hearing a solid bang when doing drills, or seeing arms swing back and forth in perfect unison during parades, all of which are fond memories of my VS Air days.

I cannot make them comprehend the satisfaction I feel after completing a 5-day 4-night trek through South-East Asia’s longest range, Crocker Range, despite rain, leeches, wearing the same sweat-soaked, mud-stained clothes every single day, all reminiscent of my OB Sabah journey.

And even though some might have experienced it, I cannot make them fully understand how amazing it is for me, to see that the bonds forged between people who used to be complete strangers barely a few weeks/months ago, can be so strong. The comradeship, the esprit de corps – all familiar emotions that I felt during my time in NPOB.

Perhaps due to my exposure to Outward Bound theories and ideologies, I see the next two years of my life as a whole, rather than in parts. Yes I might, and probably will, meet terrible company/platoon/section-mates with horrid attitude problems; or I might be given a terribly mundane vocation after BMT.

But that’s just part of it, part of life.
Everyone’s bound to have met people they can’t stand, or hated what they’re doing, but those are also the things that have made them who they are: their character, their beliefs, their principles etc.

From my VS Air days: Attitude. Aptitude. Fortitude.

…

More often than not, people who recount to me their NS days, say it’s boring, a waste of time and what not.

I might become like that. Who knows?

A wise friend cautioned me once, saying while my attitude towards this whole thing is commendable, it might also be one that is easily crushed.

I guess I accept and acknowledge that, and can understand that nothing ever turns out they way you want it.

But hey, there’s no harm in trying is there?

(: